Month of December 2015

Hello! Ranties… Rantlettes… I need a term to refer to my fans, such as it were. The Game Grumps have Lovelies, Pewdiepie has the Bros, I need a thing. Oh, and a cool sign off, cool sign offs are a thing. Erhem, point, back to it. So I’ve been quiet, I did warn you all I was taking November off to have a think and other than some bit pieces on the current deplorable state of our world, I stuck to that, but it’s December now and you’re probably wondering what I have in store for you right? I hope you are, I’d hate to think you’re indifferent about it because that would make me feel like I’m wasting my time here. So with that in mind, here’s the plan I’ve got laid out for December 2015 and moving on to the year ahead.

Firstly, owing to the success of the Decap Attack playthrough, Jonah and I are going to be taking on another holiday-themed video game, all I need to acquire first is screen-recording/video editing software (I used a trial version of a product beforehand but the trial has expired and to buy a key is like £200 so I said fuck that in every way known to the English language and grumbled for several minutes). The Let’s Plays have cottoned on it seems, people enjoyed the casual vibe and honest banter, which makes sense because it was literally just my brother and I playing a video game together, that’s 90% of our shared activities, the rest is political discussion and wandering around town or just me irritating him by squeezing his face or pretending to punch him, as brothers often do. I’ll do more of them, they’re fun to do, but please bear in mind they’re not going to be my staple thing, that’s not what I’m trying to achieve public recognition for – that’s no jibe against such types, I’m a strong follower of the Beard Bros and Game Grumps but I don’t want to be known as another beardy white boy playing video games for a living jumping on that bandwagon because it is still rolling strong. So yeah, there’ll be a Christmas one and we’ve considered some other games that’d be fun to do, I have a wealth of emulator roms and a Steam library full of stuff Jonah has never heard of so he’ll be wombling through that with total confusion, as will my audience no doubt, that could be fun.

Secondly, a Christmas special post, you’re probably expecting one, there was one last year after all. Well, I do have a fair bit to say on the subject of Christmas, albeit in what will be seen as a Scroogey fashion but with good justification. I’m not sure what to expect of Christmas yet, there’s been little mention of it around the home but depending on what happens will dictate what I post on actual Christmas Day. However, I can do some Christmas related posts beforehand so look out for those, interspersed with any recent topical news I feel obliged to speak out about.

Finally then, the new year! What is coming? VIDEOS. Yes, I’ve said this for a while but I have a camera, I have locations I can utilise, I have people willing to help out and I’ll soon have some editing software so the pieces are falling into place. A YouTube channel is being set up and a schedule worked on to provide enough content without overdoing it and balancing it between funny bits and serious bits. I realise there are a few things making my blog a task to get into – it’s very depressing stuff, it’s very long to read and it doesn’t always balance fun and serious discussion too well so people can be put off thinking they’re just subjecting themselves to more “How can we allow this stupid thing to happen?” style rants when there are a few “I watched a funny movie!” posts in the mix. Contributions from my audience are encouraged, not monetary (Though I won’t complain if you’re offering! Kidding!) but ideas of what you want from me. Let’s Play requests have come in and in the past, even article requests but these videos are made by me for you, it’s important for me to know what people want to hear about. I’m also tempted to do some lengthier discussion pieces for people to listen to in the background as they do whatever because I love those myself so let me know if that’d interest you. Like, say an hour’s discussion in a radio show style thing on a topic, using some bits and bobs found on the internet and in the news for talking points featuring myself and some other guests (friends I can desperately rope into sitting in a room for an hour talking to a laptop). So if that sounds good, at least as say, pleasant background noise, let me know!

So that’s that, keep watching this space on here and on my Facebook page. OH, Twitter, gonna get me on of those, seems it’s a thing that won’t go away anytime soon, start using them hashtags and what have ya. Keep watching, please keep supporting this blog and maybe one day you’ll see Old Man Wolfe in the trending section on your News Feed hmm? I did recently do some sponsored posts, reached out to over 7000 viewers, of those 7000 at least 250 of them checked the blog (Not massively impressive I know but it’s better than the usual “Hey, you have three good friends who read all your rubbish and like, four guys were bored” I get on here)

Signature sign-off phrase pending! See you all soon!

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One Month Later

Trigger Warnings – None

Well one month down the line, or near enough, and so far I think I’ve come on leaps and bounds with this whole blogging hoopla, certainly managed to at least set something published once a day and within the same general time frame, for the most part. Regular posting is one of the basic rules of staying current in the fast-paced environment of cyberspace, you fall behind, you get forgotten, just seems to be a rule really. Anyway, I decided I’d take this opportunity to talk about my blogging and such like, seeing as I did a Remembrance Day special on Remembrance Sunday so I decided against just repeating myself for the actual Remembrance Day itself

So, where to go from here? Well, I think the next step is a self-hosted domain, the freebie version of WordPress is prone to bugs and statistic errors that are making my blog appear more/less popular than it actually is and on more than one occasion this site has forgotten how many people I actually have subscribed to me so when I look for the number, it sorta shrugs and guesses but then come the next morning it has remembered the real number. Maddening, considering the views and subscriptions are kinda how I measure success. I might move away from WordPress, I’m not sure, I want a blog that’s easier to comment on because some have said they’re put off responding to my articles by the weird commenting system my blog has and I have no clue how to change it, methinks it requires a paid membership. If I do pay to use this site, or move to another, I hope you’ll allow follow me there and I’ll be sure to post links and such on here so you can find me but it’s all in the air at the moment so we’ll see where the cards fall, one month isn’t enough to go on for these sorts of things I feel

I’ve expressed an interest in the past at making videos, animated ones, I’m not too sure about becoming a vlogger in the traditional sense with jump cut shots of my bedroom and what have ye, my bedroom is a dull dull place and these vloggers always have posters and collectibles everywhere, I have painted white walls, a few drawings pinned to the wall and a dream catcher with a wolf motif on it, that’s about it. The lighting in my room is atrocious and I lack good audio recording equipment, but I’d need that for vlogging or animating. I have got animation software though and I’m quite good with it in all fairness so you might be wondering why nothing ever came out of that for all my talk in the past of videos being the way forward so allow me to explain

Put simply, effort. The videos, animated or not, would require a great deal of effort to put together and considering my audience is a rather small one of around ten to thirty people at most, it seems like a lot more hard work for a lot less reward. Sure, videos are more popular as a whole and easier to spread around on the social media because people will give five minutes to watch pretty colours and funny moving pictures much more readily than they will when they realise they have to put the effort into reading, it’s something of a secret art in this day and age. I could do podcasts, that is an option, but we’ll see. Frankly, in a household of six, peace and quiet is hard come by so I’m worried the recordings would be spoiled by knocks at the door, people shouting, thunderous marches up the stairs and so on. Anyway, I need to be confident in the popularity of my work before I start making videos or such, as well as confident that I can deliver on them regularly to keep my subscribers interested

Ok, personal talk here, I’d like to see my blog circulate around a bit more and yes this is attention whoring but I don’t care, attention is what makes a blog thrive and I don’t feel I get quite enough for what I do, maybe that’s just my ego talking. On another personal note, I think one other reason I’m avoiding vlogging is my appearance, I’m not very happy with my looks, I’ve put on weight and want to lose that weight, particularly from my gut and face, used to have a really nice sloped jaw but now my head is sorta more circular. Bleh. I know some of you close to me will argue I’m not fat and I look fine but I FEEL fat and I FEEL less attractive than I was – no man should have the ravages of age set in at twenty! I’m a bit of a dandy, such as it were, ask anyone who knows me and they’ll swear I have my dress sense dictated to me by Barney Stinson from HIMYM, it’s almost always some form of suit – I own more smart shirts than I do DVDs – so the idea of being visible to basically anyone in the world and not feeling attractive when they’re looking at me makes me feel uneasy

Being a blogger is not an easy thing, a vlogger even less easy or perhaps not, depends who you ask, there are good arguments either way. I like blogging and writing and expressing my opinions to see how people respond and I like to make people laugh, my ideal job would be using my creativity to make people laugh and think. Speaking of which, TDWC is undergoing another revamp, those poor characters have been hacked up and stitched back together so much it seems borderline malicious what I do to them. TDWC sorta bears the brunt of my self-criticism and so it gets picked apart so often as is the creator’s curse – immediately after you’re done, you already know what could be better and thus you are never ever truly satisfied with anything you do. Heck, reading old posts on here, I cringe sometimes. TDWC is going to be a while off yet, it’s only ever been scripts and stories at present, though it was considered for a web series briefly by a drama group but it became less of a good idea the more it was considered by everyone involved. That’s life.

Anyway, I’ve managed thus far, had mild success, would like to achieve more and I’ll consider gathering the funds to be a bit more ambitious. Thank you for the support so far from everyone, I’m actually doing well in all fairness, not internet celebrity level well but good enough to be considered as more than just a one-post wonder. Wish me luck for the future and watch this space!

Coming Soon!

Hello there peoples of the internet, hope I’m not interrupting your search for sloth memes and dead baby jokes. Well, the whiteboard arrived at last so I’m going to see about getting started on animating a video rant pretty soon. I hope you’re excited… or even interested… slightly curious? In any case, don’t expect the world of me because although it will be hand-drawn stop motion animation, it won’t be a seamless ‘Draw My Life’ gig for two major reasons:

1. The style of my rants is aggressive and rough-edged so to match that up to beautiful illustration with loving detail and aesthetic rhythm would look too bizzare – much in the same way you wouldn’t tie a red ribbon around your penis before your honeymoon.

2. To draw in that style would imply I can. I can draw, certainly, but it’s a hell of a lot of effort to draw true works of art every time I want to rant and I’m not up for it.

So, what can you expect from me? I’m not going to be treating your eyes to such visual splendour your tear ducts will release jizz but rather, a quirky little stop motion that will draw from the style model of the infamous Zero Punctuation. Yahtzee, writer, animator and narrator of the series, uses basic animation alongside sophisticated and verbose rants to deliver his point of view without distraction or hesitation, and I often find myself inspired by his works so I’m going to emulate his style to some degree. Plagiarism, I hear you cry, but by emulate I don’t mean rip off but rather, take inspiration from. I will be using basic animation but it will distinctly be my own work you see on your screen, not some total tool trying too hard to be someone else.

The video rant will be available on my blog but I will also see about setting up a YouTube account exclusively for my rants, as I aim to animate more and more of them. If you are interested in animating some of my work yourself, go for it but do give me some credit for the written work and send me a link won’t you? I don’t expect to hit Game Grumps success on that front and be bombarded with countless fan creations but it’d be nice to see someone try it.

Now then, the video rant I will animate first is tricky to decide so it’s up to you, my lovely lovely audience to decide. That’s right, you’re going to be working on this too. You didn’t honestly expect me to be your monkey butler and serve you my soul on a silver platter without a tip did you? Foolish human, you must help me decide what I am to do. Is there a particular favourite you want to see brought to life as a cartoon? A topic of interest you’d love to see me beat to death with a club? I could bundle together some little things that piss me off and make a video about that? Please, I ask that you leave your opinions below, it won’t take long honestly. You can write a comment can’t you? The floor is open to suggestions and I promise this isn’t a trap so that I can call you out as a useless twerp and then cyber-bully you into non-existence. If you’ve got something to say, I will listen.

Hopefully, video rants will be the future for Old Man Wolfe and if they take off then I may consider buying some serious software and improving the quality but I’m not going to fork out at this stage to find my videos are not of any interest to the world. Do not expect crisp clean audio and perfectly drawn creations, but I promise to deliver good content and implement some aspects of visual humour to get an extra giggle out of you. For now then, I’ve got to learn how to animate properly and think of what to make my YouTube début about and as I said, suggestions are encouraged. Thanks for reading, keep watching this page. Current view figures are 1341 total views!

PS – If you haven’t seen Zero Punctuation, look it up.