The Year Ahead: 2016

Okay, so I’ll begin by saying that this will probably sound like the typical ‘new year, new me’ nonsense that the cynics amongst us love to shoot down without mercy – we are always sceptical of change, especially change in people, and we make a joke out of people who claim they are going to but honestly, you have to credit people for even trying and maybe a lot of them will give up on that new outlook three weeks into the new year but some of them don’t and that is quite remarkable. With that in mind, let’s move on shall we? Allow me to share what I hope 2016 will have in store for me and what I have in store for 2016.

So, the big thing is I joined a gym, I’ve already attended a session and I’m going again on Monday. I’m tied into a twelve month contract, can’t leave it without 30 days notice so I’m going to commit to it and this will encourage me to actually work out – last year I tried getting fit by just going for jogs around the local scenery and this was nice but it was way too easy to find excuses not to do it (It’s rained a bit, I’m tired, my friend said they’d come but they’re not going to). With the gym membership, if I don’t go, I’m charging myself £9.99 a month to be a lazy asshole and I’ve not joined alone – both friends and family have joined up so I always have someone to go with and if I don’t go then I have lots of people to encourage me to do so, rather than just relying on myself to be motivated. The plan with the gym is to bust the gut and have a body I can be happy with, at the very least to not have any overhang above the belt considering I don’t recall having that same pudge two years ago and I don’t much like having it now.

Aside from the physical fitness regime, 2016 is the year I plan to make the year in which my blog reaches into new territory, namely vlog territory. The Facebook page is already home to some fun playthrough videos, which if you haven’t watched I encourage you to do so, but still there is work to be done and I’m not content just yet. I have the resources to hand at long last to begin making bigger strides into the internet community, to stop being some obscure little blog down the back of the metaphorical sofa, I’m going to be a name people recognise and it won’t happen right away but 2016 is where I get things going. People have stepped up to help here and there and plans are underway. I really want to make 2016 the year I get personal projects off the ground, 2015 was going to be all that but aside from clearing the table to get the work done, fuck all happened. Life got in the way, I understand, but maybe there’s a workaround and it’s time I found out what that was if this is ever going to be something more than it is currently.

Personal life wise, I need to find a way to move on, in multiple senses of the term. I feel myself stagnating and my friends assure me it isn’t so but I’ve spinning my wheels and enough is enough. Get a job, get up on my own two feet and get to a place where I can actually respect who I am and feel secure in that. I realise these goals are vague, they say vague ambitions are no ambitions at all but honestly, I’ve been so dizzied by my life lately that this is as coherent as I can do at the moment. At the time of writing, I have a terrible rash down my back and legs that bleeds at random, shoulder pain, back pain, chest pain and sudden headaches akin to being on the receiving end of Thor’s wrath.

I’m going to stop rambling, I’ve been told I go on longer than I need to on posts like this so let me just say that I hope you will come to hear more from me this year and I wish you every success in your ventures, as I’m sure you do in mine… otherwise, why are you here right?

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My 2015

Happy New Year! I had hoped to be posting today’s post yesterday and tomorrow’s post today but it seemed all out of nowhere I had a life again, with places to be and people to see and that was exciting so it took precedent over writing blog posts for basically those same people to read. I’m going to look back on my year today and tomorrow, look forward to the new and this post is for those of you who take some interest in the man behind the rant and how his head works (Spoiler Alert: Not very well)

2014, as it drew to a close, had been an odd year but it ended on a high note because whilst I had recently become unemployed and was still in the same old situation of single and sponging off my family whilst earning just enough to pay for my own things (Social life, phone bills, contributions to the home), I was happy enough and I figured with such valuable experience and good friends, life would work out. 2015 then, said “Ehh…” and whilst I had been employed for a good chunk of the year, working in care, come the end of the summer I was now back on benefits, the margins for which had tightened and the people giving the handouts had gotten meaner than I ever remembered them being. Alas, getting ahead of myself so I’ll try to follow the course of the year and explain myself, omitting names of course for the sake of those involved.

Looking back at what scraps of a journal I had maintained in the start of the year, the year started on a bum note, social events being scrapped last minute and my general tone in the book is grim but with a sort of underlying hope, something I can admit is the same now. The ambitious plan to go jogging out in the wild fell into obscurity around February but then things got better around March because although I had been going through one heck of an odd journey with a friend of mine, I then found myself employed and in a job that didn’t make me want to throttle people, which is hard to come by. All seemed well, perhaps the key word being seemed.

Through no fault of their own but rather their circumstances and general isolation, I was employed as the sole carer of someone, and though we were told there would be more hours and pay coming my way someday, tomorrow never came and I found myself worked to the bone as the carer, cleaner, personal shopper, psychiatrist and advocate of someone who really just needed the various officials in her life to shut up and listen to her. Things reached a peak and the pressure of it all caused her to breakdown, followed shortly after by me and so she found an alternate living arrangement and I found myself unemployed. No malice held for them for what they chose to do, they did what was best for them and for me – after all, I could get work again and whilst I am currently unemployed, at the time of writing three different employers are all very interested in me.

So, with the autumn and winter ahead, my 21st looming and Christmas after that, I was back on the hunt for work, honing my skills in retail by making my semi-triumphant return to Oxfam, having become something of an urban legend in the place judging by the number of “(VOLUNTEER NAME) told me about you, I’m (NAME)”, perhaps the most realistic substitute for actual fame is that sort of remark – though 2015 was the year that saw my blog reach new heights of over 1000 views in a week, video posts on my Facebook page and even some recognition on the street as “That wanker who writes about feminism”.

2015 wasn’t all doom and gloom, there are some friends I found myself closer to than I had been previously and whilst some saw fit to kick me whilst down, I at least weeded out bad eggs in the process – namely people harboring hilariously outdated views and people willing to abandon my friendship for £20, go figure. I also made a new friend in someone whom previously I had not exactly been pally with, they were friends with people who belittled me in my youth and they then contacted me, having remembered me from encountering my blog, they then apologised for following the crowd and explained themselves to the point where we mutually agreed that school isn’t about an education, it’s some sort of psychologically traumatising rites of passage in which you are just doing whatever it takes to get through it and we just happened to have different means of doing that. I also changed medical practice and got my formal diagnosis at long last, considering my former GP was determined my social anxiety was nothing more than “stress” and the need for “a good holiday somewhere nice”, as if I had that as an option.

So 2015 ended with me now unemployed, still single and my depression has only gotten worse but on the upside, perhaps those things won’t last. 2014 ended with me single and unemployed but also lost, which I tried to pass off as looking for opportunities but with no idea where to look where as now, I have jobs lined up, fewer but better friends and I signed up to an actual gym so if nothing else, I can at least be attractive whilst wallowing in self-pity!

Happy New Year and shit.

Month of December 2015

Hello! Ranties… Rantlettes… I need a term to refer to my fans, such as it were. The Game Grumps have Lovelies, Pewdiepie has the Bros, I need a thing. Oh, and a cool sign off, cool sign offs are a thing. Erhem, point, back to it. So I’ve been quiet, I did warn you all I was taking November off to have a think and other than some bit pieces on the current deplorable state of our world, I stuck to that, but it’s December now and you’re probably wondering what I have in store for you right? I hope you are, I’d hate to think you’re indifferent about it because that would make me feel like I’m wasting my time here. So with that in mind, here’s the plan I’ve got laid out for December 2015 and moving on to the year ahead.

Firstly, owing to the success of the Decap Attack playthrough, Jonah and I are going to be taking on another holiday-themed video game, all I need to acquire first is screen-recording/video editing software (I used a trial version of a product beforehand but the trial has expired and to buy a key is like £200 so I said fuck that in every way known to the English language and grumbled for several minutes). The Let’s Plays have cottoned on it seems, people enjoyed the casual vibe and honest banter, which makes sense because it was literally just my brother and I playing a video game together, that’s 90% of our shared activities, the rest is political discussion and wandering around town or just me irritating him by squeezing his face or pretending to punch him, as brothers often do. I’ll do more of them, they’re fun to do, but please bear in mind they’re not going to be my staple thing, that’s not what I’m trying to achieve public recognition for – that’s no jibe against such types, I’m a strong follower of the Beard Bros and Game Grumps but I don’t want to be known as another beardy white boy playing video games for a living jumping on that bandwagon because it is still rolling strong. So yeah, there’ll be a Christmas one and we’ve considered some other games that’d be fun to do, I have a wealth of emulator roms and a Steam library full of stuff Jonah has never heard of so he’ll be wombling through that with total confusion, as will my audience no doubt, that could be fun.

Secondly, a Christmas special post, you’re probably expecting one, there was one last year after all. Well, I do have a fair bit to say on the subject of Christmas, albeit in what will be seen as a Scroogey fashion but with good justification. I’m not sure what to expect of Christmas yet, there’s been little mention of it around the home but depending on what happens will dictate what I post on actual Christmas Day. However, I can do some Christmas related posts beforehand so look out for those, interspersed with any recent topical news I feel obliged to speak out about.

Finally then, the new year! What is coming? VIDEOS. Yes, I’ve said this for a while but I have a camera, I have locations I can utilise, I have people willing to help out and I’ll soon have some editing software so the pieces are falling into place. A YouTube channel is being set up and a schedule worked on to provide enough content without overdoing it and balancing it between funny bits and serious bits. I realise there are a few things making my blog a task to get into – it’s very depressing stuff, it’s very long to read and it doesn’t always balance fun and serious discussion too well so people can be put off thinking they’re just subjecting themselves to more “How can we allow this stupid thing to happen?” style rants when there are a few “I watched a funny movie!” posts in the mix. Contributions from my audience are encouraged, not monetary (Though I won’t complain if you’re offering! Kidding!) but ideas of what you want from me. Let’s Play requests have come in and in the past, even article requests but these videos are made by me for you, it’s important for me to know what people want to hear about. I’m also tempted to do some lengthier discussion pieces for people to listen to in the background as they do whatever because I love those myself so let me know if that’d interest you. Like, say an hour’s discussion in a radio show style thing on a topic, using some bits and bobs found on the internet and in the news for talking points featuring myself and some other guests (friends I can desperately rope into sitting in a room for an hour talking to a laptop). So if that sounds good, at least as say, pleasant background noise, let me know!

So that’s that, keep watching this space on here and on my Facebook page. OH, Twitter, gonna get me on of those, seems it’s a thing that won’t go away anytime soon, start using them hashtags and what have ya. Keep watching, please keep supporting this blog and maybe one day you’ll see Old Man Wolfe in the trending section on your News Feed hmm? I did recently do some sponsored posts, reached out to over 7000 viewers, of those 7000 at least 250 of them checked the blog (Not massively impressive I know but it’s better than the usual “Hey, you have three good friends who read all your rubbish and like, four guys were bored” I get on here)

Signature sign-off phrase pending! See you all soon!

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus – Halloween Special Film Review

Yes, that title is correct, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, the first installment in what would later become a Mega Shark franchise, this is a review of a film about gigantic underwater monsters by The Asylum (Infamous independent film company known for making Sharknado and the like, what is the obsession with sharks these guys have?). The film is a direct-to-video low budget disaster film trying to be an American attempt to break into the kaiju monster movie genre – think Godzilla and Mothra and the like. If you’re unsure if you’d like such films, this would perhaps be your gateway into the genre as this clearly draws inspiration from them, presenting us with two different ridiculous monsters for our human heroes to try and overcome. Well at least it would be buuuuuuuuuuut…

I won’t spoil the plot too much, what little of it there is in amidst the jumbled nonsensical nauseating camera shots but basically Debbie Gibson, the 80s popstar and apparent star power of this film if the cover is anything to go by, plays a marine biologist off on a submarine joyride in the arctic when she witnesses the awakening of two dormant prehistoric beasts, a giant octopus and a megalodon shark. The monsters go their own ways and terrorise two different sides of the globe before the military intervene, calling in our protagonist, her former teacher and her brilliant scientist friend who she ends up romantically attached to. Essentially what we have is all the tropes of the disaster movie brought together in another shlock horror sci-fi parade of gimmicky effects – we have told-you-so scientists, military dingbats who can only resort to “FIRE ALL MISSILES!”, gratuitous death of panicky extras and occasional glimpses of a badly designed pair of monsters. The plot is nothing new and ground-breaking, it takes itself quite seriously though, the actors in a limbo state of “Is this for real?” and “No seriously, this is a joke right” but every line is delivered with sincerity, albeit in a wooden manner.

The film’s titular characters, Mega Shark and Giant Octopus, don’t get as much screen time as I’d like, this film certainly doesn’t hold up against Godzilla but then this is a low-budget goof made by the same people who made ‘Vampires vs. Zombies’ and ‘Snakes On A Train’ so I wasn’t expecting much. However, that said, Mega Shark’s bits are worth watching – especially when the shark leaps out of the ocean and catches a fucking commercial airline mid-flight with no effort. HOW? Planes fly at about 600mph, how is a shark that fast it can catch one? HOW FAST IS THAT SHARK? HOW HIGH CAN IT JUMP? The Giant Octopus’ scenes are lackluster, it seems to get bored as quickly as we do – it half-heartedly attacks a submarine for thirty seconds then drops it. Mega Shark though, Jesus, give me an hour of that shark chomping through boats and planes with that derpy expression it wears in every scene, that was the most redeeming factor of the film for me. Mega Shark, star of the show baby, no wonder you got three sequels (I shit you not, this film has THREE sequels, as does Sharknado, The Asylum really like shark themed movies)

The film is poor, poor by every standard – the CGI is atrocious, the plot incoherent and dull, the romance unbelievable and the characters as uninteresting as staring at my shoes for eighty minutes. I don’t know who gave the worst performance – Debbie Gibson looked like she was drawing letters in mid-air with her nose in every scene and was clearly burbling lines she did not understand the words behind, Lorenzo Lamas’ character is a quip-flinging asshole with no redeeming traits, which he plays well but looks bloody ridiculous doing so, Sean Lawlor can’t seem to maintain his accent throughout and Vic Chao speaks in one tone of voice for the entire film and expresses joy through a single fist-pump of victory… totally doesn’t look weird. Still, they’re hardly acting legends, what can you expect? The film outright addresses Debbie Gibson is a washed-up has-been looking for an easy gig (Her character is said to have a floundering career, much like Debbie who had short-lived musical fame and was irrelevant faster than a X Factor contestant). The film takes itself so seriously, as do the actors, that you wonder if they thought what they were working on was good or if they embraced the campiness of this romp and played along to try and salvage it.

The Asylum, the company behind this, are independent filmmakers of a particular creed – they jump on bandwagons and produce cheaper versions of current blockbusters to make easy money whilst people are still obsessed with a fad. Transformers movie? The Asylum made Transmorphers. Pirates of the Caribbean? The Asylum made Pirates of Treasure Island. Paranormal Activity? The Asylum made Paranormal Entity. Not subtle, not clever but they achieve a mixed bag, some of their films are lovable cheesy muck you find yourself enjoying and some are shallow shameless attempts to cash in quick. After all, this is the company that got told by a guy at a seminar that the best film in the world would be High School Musical but more Christian-friendly so they made Sunday School Musical… no joke, they just jumped on an idea some randomer said and did it, apparently trying to cash in on the strict-Christian themed films only market. So what does that make this film? My best comparison is, as I said, the disaster film tropes of things like 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow combined with kaiju films and if this film were more interesting to watch, I’d recommend it as a way to introduce someone to giant monster movies but it’s not so I won’t.

So, is this so bad it’s good? Whilst the film has redeeming qualities (One of the few American films to feature a mixed race coupling and not make it a big “OH MY GOSH THEY ARE SO DIFFERENT YET IN LOVE” kinda thing with an Asian male and a Caucasian female) and is laughably cheap and shoddy, you’d be hard pressed to watch this with that mixture of cringing and grinning you’d have watching The Room. The film started out with a message about the impact of sonar equipment on the environment, which I thought it would run with to tell us how we are destroying marine life but it drops that pretty early on and instead focuses on “How cool would it be to watch two giant monsters fight?!” to which we as an audience respond “THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!” and in turn get like… two minutes of them fighting, the rest is underwater chase scenes between a sub and a shark whilst an octopus watches. I honestly just found this boring – the gaps between action are too long for a disaster movie and the script repeats itself (Several characters die in the same way of “Sir, if we do this thing, it’ll kill us all!” and boss says “Do the thing!” and they die ORRRRRR “Sir, we killed the monster!” and then boss says “Lower your guard boys, we won!” and they die) so this film feels flat, not lovably tried-and-failed flat, more took-the-first-draft-they-came-up-with-and-filmed it flat. I don’t do a point score system but the Rotten Tomatoes one is below 20%, I’m hard-pressed to disagree…

The Possible Plausible Future

I’ve been blogging more recently, riding another wave of ideas in the boom and bust cycle that is the activity upon this blog. You might be wondering, therefore, how long this is going to last? How much life will thrive here before I run out of points to make and go off on another few months hiatus. Well, that’s today’s topic, blogging about blogging itself like a taco within another taco or other such analogies.

Now, since my return, success here, by which I mean traffic reaching levels it once averaged at, or surpassing them – that’s been a mixed bag. The Fragile Man, Passionate Contempt and The Shout have been the most popular new works, besides that Pig Girls Don’t Cry gets googled more often and currently running in last place is the rather more recent Cosby Case. I’m proud of my latest works, Fragile Man especially, I believe it on par with Catcall An End To It, one of my other best works. Going off topic here, the point I’m trying to make is I feel I’m improving so in that sense, I’m successful, but I’m reaching less people, even with the Facebook page. Many factors come into this, posting times and how often I post and how well I promote/tag my work and I understand that but I have a plan and in this plan, I have some surprising help.

Firstly, outside of encouraging you all to like, share and subscribe as often as you can, I’m going to get a Twitter for Old Man Wolfe, it’s an easy way to generate publicity and people are happy to retweet without giving it much thought, Facebook shares seem fewer – perhaps due to the differing natures of the sites. Secondly, I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again, the future of this site is video content on YouTube. I tried my hand at animation but lacked the skill and patience and other such excuses, I might have another go at it but I think it best I opt instead for recording footage of myself. The idea is up in the air but inevitably, it is where I’m headed one day, people have said they’d be happier listening to a podcast (A fun idea in itself) or watching a five to ten minute video than reading two thousand word long essays on this or that, to be fair it’s easier for videos to go viral than written work, sad as that is. I’ve resisted and resisted, partly because my pride is in my writing and partly out of fear of how poorly I’ll represent myself as I don’t much like myself in terms of physical appearance and voice. Warning, if you only know me from my online persona, be prepared to have images shattered as the most surprising trait about me, apparently, is my voice isn’t as deep as the gravity of my words suggest. You might be sat there expecting a voice of authority and strength when in truth I sound more like someone who didn’t make the cut for The Inbetweeners.

I used the words possible and plausible because there are no guarantees but my Dad has stepped in, at last acknowledging both my blog and the internet community, accepting the fact that YouTube and such are the way forward, even going so far as to offer me resources – namely a camera. Context here, I’ve never really had much of a big affair made of my birthday, it’s too close to Christmas for lavish spending and money is tight but it’s made Old Man Wolfe’s old man feel heavy guilt and whilst he thought he’d help get me a car, he quickly realised I don’t have the money for lessons or insurance, none of us do, that’s going to have to wait until I have a proper decent wage. So, we talked and he’s going to try and facilitate my path to fame and wishes me the best, hoping one day I’ll be as infamous an internet presence as Markiplier or Tomska. I’m grateful to him for this and want it to work out, the world wide web is the ultimate platform to preach the points I’ve tried to make to only a small collective thus far. Of course, my dream is to be an acknowledged writer with books on the shelves and TV series based on my ideas out there, possibly other inspired media works like games or films I had a hand in making, a long term goal but not as daft as it might have been once upon a time in a world that quickly sweeps up anything interesting, staying famous is now the harder part rather than becoming so.

Beyond the blog, maybe you’re interested in the other stuff I’m doing right? Book ideas, TDWC’s fate and so on? Well if you are, here’s a rundown real quick. TDWC had two potential paths, one a gritty drama series from the point of view of a new recruit to the demon hunting agency and the other an Archer-inspired comedy about the same agency. I’ve decided to test the former and leave the latter for now, I like both ideas but I’ll see whether I’m better at grit or humour and dedicate Lee Patience and company to whichever I prefer, devising something else for the other. Book ideas, I want to write a fantasy series that bucks the trends and tropes whilst calling upon social themes and I won’t give too much away as I know I’m not the first to come up with such but I don’t want to just put everything up here for grabs by any other aspiring writers. Yes, I am honestly saying I think I have ideas people would steal, I don’t want to take the risk of a more inspired and driven writer seeing a concept I devised and running with it before I can so I then get accused of ripping off my own work. I also have another series idea based on my historical studies and series like Game of Thrones and besides that, a short story or perhaps full length novel based on my true imagination of a dystopia. Once again, hoping to buck trends there with a focus on small victories and individual stories, rather than the inevitable “It’s time for revolution” story line that the likes of the Matrix, Divergent, Hunger Games and so on walk down – I like those stories but truth be told, it’s time for a massive change to the system now and look where that’s going, I am not leading an army of optimistic teenagers whilst wearing form-fitted armour and firing arrows at people.

Ramble ramble ramble, point is, watch this space, I mean it. I talk big talk a lot, I know, I’m sorry, the harshest critic of my efforts is myself and I tear them apart too soon but with more people becoming invested, including my previously uninterested father, I’ve got to stick to it this time. I much prefer a future as a prominent face fighting the feminist agenda whilst publishing books about orcs than I do the future as a hopeless dreamer going from till to till trying to find a job.

Up and Running

Trigger Warnings – Strong language throughout (This probably should be taken as a given by now I guess?)

I went jogging today at last and thus the title, you get it? Eyy? Eyy? Do you, do you get the joke? Clever wordplay is my forte… as is rhyming apparently. I’m sorry I didn’t do a blog post yesterday by the way, in my defence I have done them non-stop for a long time and I did say I was going to gradually do less, mostly to ensure every post is top quality and also so my readers don’t end up swamped in so much new content they stop bothering and just pretend to have read it (Which the anxious part of me always suspects is the case whenever people say “It was good”… like, I’m stating an argument, it was good doesn’t make sense really, it’d be nicer to hear if you agree or not or if you thought I fought my case well.

Anyway, I didn’t come here to discuss that, I came here to discuss my progress with the jogging thing. I meant to start sooner but things kept cropping up but today I actually did it, I actually went jogging. I didn’t jog very far, I must admit, only the length of Sydney Avenue which is down the road from my house and is less than a kilometre long. Yes, I didn’t manage even one kilometre of jogging, I’m that unfit but to push myself, I did then go on a twenty minute walk around Monkmoor on the steepest hills I could find, I felt pathetic having to take two rest stops to jog the length of one strip of road. However, a few things to note are that I am of course very unfit from a bad diet, various health issues and a lack of practice but also, in my prime, such as it were, I was a sprint runner, not a distance runner. I could cover seventy metres in a flash, sure, but any longer than that and I burnt out spectacularly and I looked into the length of Sydney Avenue, it is seven hundred and forty metres long so that’s more than ten times the length at maybe… well… a fifth of my usual speed? I daren’t do the math, my head will hurt but I think the results would show I’m not doing too shabby, certainly not as bad as I initially thought.

I’m going to have to give jogging a miss tomorrow sadly, I have somewhere to be, but the week after that is clear for me so I’ll push myself to keep it up. I may have to invest in something to play music as I jog, though the scenery is nice and because it’s so cold and wet, nobody is out by the river except the odd parent and child playing with the dog. In the summer, my gosh, that road is just a surge of health freaks running around looking impressive and making me feel fat. I felt a bit silly today in all fairness, wearing a jogging suit, oh how I wished I wasn’t me so I could wear a suit and look at me all sweat and baggy trousers and just shake my head but fuck it, dressing like Rocky Balboa is something I can endure for a flatter stomach and better stamina rate than “Haha! I’m up… And now I’m down”. I’m too young to be old, if that makes sense, I creak as I move, I get out of breath just carrying heavy bags and I sleep like a log the moment I’m out, it’s hell to fall asleep but when I’m asleep, I’m really fucking asleep (Which is sorta against the Maori proverb of a true warrior waking at the sound of a snapping branch. In all fairness though, I’d constantly be waking up if I was like that, there’s a public footpath behind my house which is the path most frequented by drunken shambles wandering home from the nightclubs. Irritates me like mad, just want to use my bedroom window as a sniper perch and shoot those noisy bastards right in the… erhem, no, no violence Jake, bad)

I said I’d give you all a progress check and I’ll grant you the fact this is more just me telling you “Hey, I actually started!” but y’know, hey, I started, I made a conscious effort towards my resolution. I’ve also told everyone to stop putting sugar in my tea, I did not give into cravings and reward my efforts for jogging with a giant sticky bun, I just ignored it. I’m going to have to look into healthy snack foods (I’ll give myself an apple so I can look like even more of an asshole). The jogging has played havoc with my appetite though, I was so hungry tonight that I ate whatever people left behind on their plates as well as my own dinner so my brothers are pretty sure the effort I made today was just undone in a feeding frenzy on chicken and rice. Chicken and rice though, that stuff is healthy, you dig? The fact it was covered in Tikka Masala changes nothing right? Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know how I’m doing, let me know how you’re doing with your resolutions or if you’re stuck for ideas, maybe I can write a post about some ideas I can share with you, that sounds like a good post idea actually. Today’s post was actually done by request, a reader said they really like personal updates so I thought I’d throw them this bone since these posts are generally easier to write without much thought and otherwise I might not have come up with anything. Thanks for reading folks, stick around for more in the future!

Hey, did you like that post? Do you want to follow the adventures of Fat Man Wolfe? I kid, I’m not THAT fat, I know that much, just chunkier than I’d like. Anyway, click like if you enjoyed tonight’s reading material and maybe give it a share if you know anyone else maybe trying to get motivated to join a gym or give up cake or whatever. If you want more, be sure to check out some of my other articles or follow the link below to get to my Facebook page for the latest updates and information on blog posts as they come out!

http://www.facebook.com/oldmanwolfeofficial

Not Today

Trigger Warnings – Some strong language.

I’ll put this out there at the beginning, this post doesn’t really have a subject per se, it is just a record of thoughts, I’m at a loss for what to discuss today and don’t really feel like writing anything requiring a lot of research and thought at the moment. I feel sort of tired at the moment, mentally and physically, and though there are news worthy pieces up in the public eye right now, I can’t cover them without repeating myself a lot and nothing really gripped me in the headlines, the same old same old – Ebola here, job losses there, disasters somewhere else – it’s a sad state of affairs that we live in a world where you can react to the word ‘disaster’ with ‘meh’. Granted, my reaction would be different if it affected me directly, that goes without saying, but since it didn’t, I hate to say it but I can find myself looking the other way but then I’m hardly the only culprit there and considering I usually make such a song and dance of the latest news, you can forgive me for a few personal days.

I’ve decided I will reduce the frequency of my posts in the new year, in terms of articles at least. I feel bombarding my audience with a thousand words a day for them to munch on is a bit much for some readers, so much so that even good friends of mine can end up with a backed up list of articles to catch up on and some never get round to it. I ask for feedback and I get the stock responses “Very good” or “You write really well”, which, thanks for the compliments but vague as heck, however I suppose I can’t hold it against people if I’m pushing for their opinions on social issues every day, I’d eventually find myself saying “Yeah, you’re right” now and then just to appear to be saying something. I have a Facebook page, I think I’ve plugged that a lot, but it tells me how many people see a post and how many people engage with it – most posts get very little engagement unless they’re short and snappy status updates, the articles themselves get barely any commentary. I guess this could be down to my latest articles all being news, news, news, maybe I need to break up the pace a bit, I have suggested such in the past and some readers sounded pleased with that idea but perhaps there is also room to just do mini posts, little rants and raves that are no more than a few lines long to make the conversation easier to break into, such as it were.

Of course, the next step up is YouTube, people are much happier to watch stuff than read stuff, it’s the modern world. I won’t stop writing, writing is my forte, my craft, I must practice it constantly and I do want to be recognised for it so as to one day make a living by my words but the allure of the videos is the allure of performance and of being heard much more easily than being a blogger in some dark corner of the internet. I want to share my thoughts and feelings and odd moments of comedy with as wide an audience as possible really, especially if the issue is something important like feminism or politics. I’ve had people ask “Why don’t you just blog about stuff you like?” and it’s been tempting, I might use Totally Obscure Tuesday to do a few pieces on stuff I like but the point of the matter is I want to be recognised for my writing, I enjoy the process but I enjoy the feedback and discussion just as much and if this is to be my future, I need to make it something more easily marketed than “Well, he’s a bit of an unknown but he sure as hell knows a lot about samurai history”

I’ll have to get used to self-promoting, I know I give the impression that I do nothing else but self promote, constantly pushing myself forward and begging for attention and comments and the like but I actually despise doing it, it feels like I’m being the obnoxious prat in the coffee shop  typing loudly and looking around to see if anyone will ask what I’m doing, I feel like that one in the group who says “I’ve composed a poem for this moment”, clears their throat and then recites it without invitation as everyone else sits in awkward silence and replies with “It was good, great, yeah…”. I’m not, I assure you, I’m not that guy, in person I am almost entirely silent, even in good company, and I don’t sit in conversations waiting for my chance to say “Well actually, in my blog I…” because immediately my lingering doubt smirks at me and calls me a pretentious little cunt muffin.

In short, I need to make myself seen and heard but there’s more to it than cramming articles down throats every day of the week so come the new year, this blog is going to need another rethinking. Less frequent articles, aim for regular timing (which so far, not too bad), more frequent statuses and small ways of getting to know my audience, maybe some more interesting ways to get people involved other than “Praise me!” or “I demand intellectual discussions!” so this is as much about me as it is about you. I thank you for your continued support readers, maybe one day Jacob Wolfe will be a name people recognise without saying “The guy from Twilight?”

Incidentally, likes, shares and comments are always appreciated, you can follow me here by e-mail or you can click ‘Like’ on my Facebook page for all the latest news on Old Man Wolfe. Be sure to check out some of my other articles and as always, please let friends and family know about this blog, I’ve given up on the 50 likes on my Facebook before the new year but y’know, anything is something and I welcome new members to my audience!

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