Trigger Warnings – Strong language throughout
Alright readers, are you all sober again? Hmm? I trust you didn’t all lose your phones and/or wallets last night, you probably lost your lunch but who am I to judge? Anyway, continuing on from yesterday, I’ve told you about my 2014, now let’s get onto what I want out of 2015 and how I hope to get on with it. I know what you’re thinking, resolutions are hooey, nobody ever keeps them going on into February, we all give up on that diet after one salad and that “I swear I’m going to work out” then becomes “I swear I’m going to work out the best possible way to do nothing productive”. However, I think putting these goals up on a public domain that I can easily access might make them stick with me better and I’ve already got people willing to help me achieve some of these goals so let’s see what happens, maybe I’ll give you all a progress check next week
First up, lose weight, not a lot, just enough so that when I look down, I see my belt buckle and not my belly. I get told all the time I’m worrying over nothing and that I’m still as handsome/ugly as I’ve always been, the only one seemingly bothered by my pudge is me but therein is the big factor, it bothers me. My body is my own and I want to feel as attractive as possible in it, it took no effort to do that through my teen years but I don’t have a black void for a gut any more, if I eat fatty foods, it shows. I’m also annoyed that looking in the mirror, my jawline has rounded out so I look less like my former self and more like a bearded hamster. I am Jacob Wolfe, not Jacob Hamstere. Furthermore, people say they haven’t noticed but until I made it abundantly clear it wasn’t appreciated, I noticed over the past few months jokes about my appearance became targeted at my shape, namely the fact I am short and tubby – previous jokes about my appearance used to be about my messy hair or scraggly beard but lately it’s been more about the fact I am shorter and fatter than most people I know. Terrific. So that ends there, I’m no longer taking sugar in my tea, I’m starting to take vitamins to help me improve all round, I’ve sworn off all sticky buns and cakes as comfort foods and I’m going to take up jogging. I didn’t today, boo me, it was raining heavily and my mood was low but if I feel better, I’ll go for it.
On a serious note, I have to get my act together this year, I’m twenty years old and I have no further education beyond lack-lustre A-Levels and some work-based training, I still live with my parents because of many many reasons but I’ll just have to get around it and I’m currently unemployed and single. The single bit, eh, no big deal, I’m single for the right reasons and I know what I really want in a relationship now so I have ideas how to move forward there but the rest of that shit? Got to clear it up. I’m going to get back on Jobseeker’s again, find a job that uses my new skills and pays a decent wage, save up a packet to get me some driving lessons and a car in the future, I’ll probably need help from the family for that (Dad did say he wanted to make my 21st birthday a big deal as he felt he didn’t do bugger all for my 18th so maybe I can talk to him about that) and then look into education and moving closer to where I attend. I need to decide what to study, I’d say creative writing or such but I’m not sure, I may well take up Foundation Psychology and work my way in that way, psychology is actually one of my main interests alongside history and film/gaming culture and recently politics. God I sound boring… Hey Jake, you’re an attractive single male, what are your interests? Mmm fucking love me some textbooks and Hitchcock movies, that shit’s the bomb. This resolution isn’t so much a silly little thing I’d like, this is serious, this is “Jacob, get your flipping act together!” so I must stick to this one, fat gut or not!
On the subject of my blog, I want to move it to YouTube and become a vlogger, though I need to find a way of making myself stand out and I promise you it won’t be “Look at me, I’m a zany twenty something with lots of material possessions I own as the backdrop to me jump cutting around the room and calling things crazy”, that’s just not me. I’ll aim to be funny and interesting, obviously, and probably more engaging or lively than I usually am in person but it’s not an easy feat for a guy like me, my main conversation consisting of the odd one-liner slid into appropriate moments and a series of distinctive shrugs and “Hmm” noises. I have someone willing to help edit and work on the videos, I already have someone offering to let me use some of their equipment and I’ll look into getting some of my own of course. I’ll probably post less frequently here but I’ll look into making the posts themed or something, have some better structure going as opposed to “This is what I feel like doing today, deal with it”. I’ve really got back into this, I lacked confidence and sometimes my confidence does wane with the view counter but I definitely think my latest posts are more coherent and generally better all round than my old material, but that’s for my audience to decide. So that’s going to take a while and might be difficult with everything else going on but I’m going to try my damned hardest to balance it all and if I can, maybe get TDWC into something I like.
Well, I’ve got a lot on my plate, it’s not going to be easy but I’ll keep record of what I do. I have a diary, journal, whatever, I stuck to the mood one pretty well and need to evaluate the results of that but yeah, decided I’d also get into writing a normal diary such as it were, day by day thoughts. Hardly going to be the work of Pepys but y’know, it’ll be good to look back on and I’ll be able to see just how far I did or didn’t make it over the year. Anyway, all that remains now is to wish you all luck in your own endeavours and I hope you wish me luck in mine!
And so let’s look forward to a glorious future, hopefully, maybe, optimism for the win. I’d love it if you could like and share what you see here and as usual, please check out the link below and click that like button to get updates from me in your feed and the opportunity to catch these posts the moment they go up! Feel free to hit me up with comments and messages too (Be tasteful, spam will not get responded to)