A Load of B.S

Trigger Warnings – Strong language throughout

So, I don’t know if you’ve heard the news, Cards Against Humanity pulled off the biggest commercial prank of the year when on Black Friday this year 30,000 customers bought boxes of literal bull shit at $6 a pop only to respond with cries of horror and outrage when they received exactly what they paid for. Cards Against Humanity has always been a bit risqué and out there, it’s a party game for people with a very broad and very weird sense of humour and this latest venture on their part only reminds us that they are not your typical company.

So why the bullshitting? Like, literal bullshitting here, this article will be full of that term so brace yourself. Well, Cards Against Humanity have pulled a prank like this before, last year on Black Friday they actually increased their prices on the day of the mega sale craze and to their surprise, sales spiked! I should point out, this wasn’t a subtle bump up of the price tag when nobody was looking, this was advertised as a ‘once-in-a-lifetime price spike!’ and people went for it as if just seeing the phrase ‘once in a lifetime’ set off their shopping senses and deprived them of their normal ones. Co-creator Max Temkin said “We all really hate Black Friday, it’s just kind of a horrible day, it comes after this day you’re supposed to be thankful for what you have and then it’s just this whole huge media spectacle of people fighting each other to save $50 on a TV.”

Pleasantly refreshing to hear someone in business say that, it’s certainly something I’ve never much liked nor do I like how Britain has adopted the idea without Thanksgiving so just out of nowhere comes this one day of “70% off everything, kill your fellow man for a cheap laptop!” and boom. Admittedly Shrewsbury, being a sleepy town, was rather calm and there wasn’t exactly hordes of angry shoppers but we had our fair share of news footage showing people punching each other and hitting each other across the head with lightweight televisions and such. Hardly the American big beat ’em up brawl we all know from the news but still, it’s not far off, give it a few years. I don’t see why Britain aspires to be America in this instance except to compete with online business but which idiots were so desperate to make a bit more money that they saw crowds of people gouging eyes out over XBOX consoles and said “Yup, let’s do that”

The company hasn’t profited from this so for those of you about to make a joke about dirty-dealing or a shitty business strategy, the boxes were sold for $6 each but $5.80 of that was to cover the postage and packaging, the other $0.20 went straight to a charity that supplies farm animals to areas of poverty. The stunt wasn’t planned as a charity drive, that idea came second to the idea of “I wonder if we can actually sell these idiots a box of literal bull crap, that’d be funny”. A cautionary tale then perhaps? A tale that we as consumers are ravenous idiots too keen to throw money at anything that catches our attention, 30,000 people literally bought boxes of poo because they thought they were buying special edition game cards or rare collectible items that’d never be made again or such like, how stupid can you get? The item description did include the words ‘literal’ and ‘bull faeces’, this wasn’t a con or a trick, they violated no trade standards and haven’t actually done anything wrong – you can’t call it exploiting someone if you gave them a big warning sign and they pushed it out of the way shouting “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!”

Consumerism has become a real problem with our society, we fight and feud for material rubbish and it’s such a corrupt influence even the Pope weighed in on unbridled consumerism being the force that is tearing the planet apart. Hard to argue, what with deforestation, constant Amazon gifts going back and forth over the big blue. I doubt Cards Against Humanity wanted us all to sit in the corner and think about what we’re doing with our lives but maybe this’ll shake some sense into people… then again, the public has been caught out two years running, I’m keen to see what CAH has in mind for Christmas 2015 – boxed killer bees or something.

So there you go, that’s tonight’s article – total bull… no, actually no, I won’t, every fucking article I read ended with the line total bullshit, I will not end with that same line of total bullshit, I refuse to end this article on the words total bullshit.

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