Our Way Of Life

Trigger Warnings – Single brief mention of sexual assault (Nothing explicit, literally just a word but I’m throwing this up here in case, I know just the word alone can set off some), strong language throughout

Has anyone else ever noticed most of our pressing issues as a society are conflicting beliefs and privileges, usually people get up in arms about having to adjust their way of life one way or the other? The week just past alone has seen people argue about public feeding, ‘bloody’ immigrants and as ever, those gosh darn gay people wanting to marry each other. Now, this might come off as hypocrisy for a man urging reform but it’s a salvageable hypocrisy but my point is, why do people insist on hassling people over this? If it’s not affecting you, it’s not affecting you, can you not just go with it like that or do you truly lose so much sleep over these things? So, a list article is coming at you folks as I take a no-nonsense approach to some attitudes people seriously stick to and you may notice a theme in my responses, just saying.

“I can’t walk down (Insert Street Name) without hearing everyone there speak (Insert Language that isn’t English)”

Well, straight off the bat, you’re eavesdropping, rude. You know if you don’t understand what’s being said it’s probably not a conversation for you to listen in on or they’d speak a language you understand. I know people say if they come here, they better speak our language and maybe some don’t but for the most part they learn, it’s just nice to talk in your native tongue. I mean, if you moved to Russia, sure you could learn Russian and speak Russian all the time but if someone there approached you speaking English, would you not say “Oh thank fuck, this is much easier for me”? I would. Ok, so some areas become populated by a certain demographic and you might hear foreign languages all around you but don’t get in a huff over it, walk on and let them do their thing, maybe instead of bitching about it you can instead appreciate the fact you live in a culturally diverse area – not everyone coming to Britain wants to forget their heritage and be like us in the same way you moving abroad doesn’t mean you despise steak pies and cricket, you literally just thought you might have a nicer life there, not to escape your nationality.

“Ugh, the way she’s dressed, she’s trying to draw attention to herself, it disgusts me”

I’ve defended sluts in the past, they’re literally just having fun being attractive, who wouldn’t? However, people often criticise the dress sense for being too showy, for calling attention to flesh and so forth but really, here’s a novel suggestion, look away. If it honestly disgusts you, don’t look. Personally, I can’t stand tracksuits, the soft fabric ones especially as you never see a clean one, they’re always stained and slovenly but I find a good solution is to think “I wouldn’t wear that myself but whatever, I’ll turn and look the other way now”. Try it, see something disgusting? Don’t look. Also, you’re not obliged to give commentary on people’s dress sense, just saying, or I would constantly be telling strangers on the street they look seriously under-dressed by comparison to me. “Oh that’s cute, you went into town in a onesie huh? Get out of your goddamn pyjamas and put a suit on, you’re a grown man”. I’d be one sassy son of a gun and nobody would like me and nobody likes anybody who hurls fashion critique at strangers – except Gok Wan apparently, bitches love Gok Wan.

“Women shouldn’t breastfeed their children in a public place, it’s embarrassing to be around someone doing that out in the open”

You want to know what bodily functions shouldn’t be done with an audience? Shitting, pissing, fucking (unless that’s your kink and they agreed I guess) and masturbating (again, unless that’s a thing and they want to watch for some reason). Breast-feeding, eh, so what? Seriously, saying “So what?” as a response to things gives you a much more peaceful life. You don’t need to be embarrassed by what you see, it is a part of nature, it is the more meaningful purpose of breasts as opposed to bags of fat to oggle at. However, maybe you’re still a bit prude, maybe it does make you feel awkward? Stop looking. You are not being forced to look, the mother didn’t mount your lap and whip them out for you, she’s sat away from you so just do your thing and she’ll do hers and her baby will get the key nutrients they need to grow up into a functional adult, which is more than can be said for some.

“Men marrying men, next thing you know I’ll marry my horse!”

Legitimately happening right now, a Michigan pastor is stood with his horse, making it wear a gown as a statement on how gay marriage is akin to bestiality. This is perhaps the most ridiculous argument against gay marriage because it suggests humans are too stupid to know where to draw the line between consenting partners in a long term relationship and sticking your dick in a bagel. I mean, give us some credit as a species, we did invent the internet and various medicines and such like, I think there are enough people in the world who can tell the difference between a lesbian and labradoodle and then say “No, no this is silly, this is not a bond of love between two intelligent individuals, this is just weird”. If you aren’t gay or such yourself, what does it matter? Are you so worried about what will happen? So far no apocalypse and if it is a sin, it’s not a sin affecting you. I could write more on each of these but this is just a summation really.

Anyway, this is just a little piece on four sentences I have heard over the week just gone that have made me roll my eyes. Nigel Farage, yup there he is again, a putrid stain on my blog, is a man fighting for a Britain that doesn’t exist – a world of warm beer in a green field as white guys throw a ball around and eat meat with women sitting pretty by their side saying nothing. Society has to advance, imagine if we’d have listened to the guy saying “Nope, this fire thing sounds like a bad idea and I refuse to ever hunt with one of your fancy spears Jeff, let’s sit in the dark and starve like normal people!”. Bit of a straw-man but fuck it, it’s hardly exaggerating these arguments, even traffic in this country is apparently the malicious work of immigrants. It’s beyond a joke now, we should just all cut each other some slack, live our lives and let people live theirs. The difference with me challenging these people on their beliefs – I’m fighting to give everyone an equal right to be what they want to be, these guys are throwing a hissy fit over nothing. Gays get married, women wear short skirts, mothers feed babies, the world keeps spinning – until God himself comes down and says “Hey guys, I see you made gay marriage legal across the world huh? Yeah, I’m not happy”, maybe he’s on board huh? Sure, he never said he didn’t approve of murder and rape but those are bad things because WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A LIVING BEING?

You see where I’m coming from? Good. Play nicely humans, we all have to live together, let’s try to be civil about it


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