Trigger Warnings – None.
Well, the job has come to an end, the contract technically expires on Friday but with no more hours this week, today was my last day. I’ve been told to be on my way, take time away from the store and come back refreshed in the new year to volunteer. I’ll still pop in to see the team, celebrate with them but come the new year, I will need to think about the next step up, such a thing is inevitable really.
So my plan is to look into retaking a subject I did in college, maybe a couple, knock the grades up and then look into further education from there. Granted, it’s late but I need to move on somehow, not just potter around Shrewsbury playing second fiddle to a bunch of different managers and supervisors. I’m walking away from this job with stronger social skills, admittedly still an introvert who would rather leave people alone than bother them with my awkward company but at least I can make decent attempts at human interaction now and my presence isn’t greeted with indifferent sighs any more.
I need a job though, got to pay my way somehow and I don’t want to live with my dad forever, my independence would make everyone’s lives
much easier. In the future, I would like to say farewell to Shrewsbury altogether, go out into the world for real, not just for a day trip with a train ticket. I’m not sure where to, picking a path to walk down has always been a tough one for me, I feel like I am always sacrificing something that could be amazing to walk down the path before me. Curse my tendency to overthink fucking everything every moment of the day, it makes me sensitive and indecisive
I should have invested more in my future but truth be told, it never interested me until recently, to want for myself has always filled me with this sort of nausea. Strange, I know, I can’t explain it very well but it explains why a child prodigy wound up working behind counters if he never took interest in using his talents to do something for himself. I enjoy charity work, I’m working for my pay (or was) but also for a good cause far beyond checks with my name on. I hope that whatever I end up doing, it benefits people beyond myself or I would be going against my core ideals of community and such.
In other news, I need a laptop, seriously, this blogging using a touch screen is maddening. Finger blog is accurate by the way, I use two hands to type on a keyboard, a single finger to type on a touch screen. Takes forever to get nowhere, this post feels long but it isn’t really is it? Bleh. Life sucks, first world problems and all that.
Anyway, gonna have to call it quits there, my hands hurt, I get awful pains from using touch screens but you can’t avoid them now. See you all tomorrow for more mini posts!