Trigger Warnings – Abuse, violence, misogyny (No, not from me)
First of all, a big cheer for the blooming popularity of this blog after a period of relative quietness on the stats, this last week has seen the view counter soar and I’ve just had news from WordPress themselves that my blog’s average view stat is going up and up so thanks to everyone for that, makes me very happy. Anyway, today’s subject is feminism, yes the accursed word returns, even though it’s not a bad thing in itself despite what some might say and I’m here to take down some stupid arguments with a machine gun of intellectual assault so lock and load bitches, I’m going in red hot
I promise I won’t do that ever again…
1. So girls are equal to guys now? Does this mean I can hit them?
Whoa whoa whoa there sonny Jim, gender equality is a thing and the first thing is can you hit them now? What the heck is wrong with you that made that the first question? You aren’t a poof for hitting a girl because punching anything with a vagina is a cowardly thing to do, you’re a violent assailant for picking fights with people much shorter and less muscular than you, like women often are compared with men. By all means, if she’s six foot seven and carrying a crowbar, punch her lights out if she comes onto you but it’s not special treatment to not hit someone who is a foot shorter than you and in possession of less muscle mass than you, regardless of gender – if you do do that, that’s called bullying or you know, assault
2. Surely you’re sexist for thinking women need defending? Are you implying women can’t cope with harassment like the rest of us?
No, I’m not, women can cope, they’ve coped for centuries, it’s a matter of should they have to? I’m a white straight cisgender English-speaking male, I got it pretty sweet on that deal, I can walk down alleys without worrying who wants to attack me, I don’t get followed down the street, people don’t yell things at me and insult me for not responding. Add ‘fe’ to the start of that male bit and it’s a whole other ball game. Feminists are not sexist for thinking women have had enough of being treated like objects by their peers, it’s just human decency and anyone who disagrees should really try harder to empathise. I’ve met women who get things yelled at them as compliments and it just makes them feel awkward and cheap. Sure, some embrace it and take it in their stride to empower themselves, kudos to them, but not everyone can and the solution is not a thicker skin, it’s about challenging society
3. If women don’t want to be objectified by men, why do they go out of their way to attract them in the first place?
Because I go out of my way to look attractive as a guy, thus the suits and constant fuss over weight gain and hair loss, but truth be told I’m not looking to go on the pull every single time I leave the house. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you don’t dress for other people, you dress for yourself, for what you feel good in and if that’s a little showy then really, what does it matter? Avert your gaze or grow up, it’s terribly vain to think everyone around you is set on looking their best for your attention, maybe she just thinks she has a great looking butt and wants to strut it a bit? You’re not obliged to grab it to confirm that she is indeed correct, just turning your head was proof enough really. By the same token, maybe she just likes wearing corsets or sleeveless tops because they’re pretty and nice to wear, one reason I like wearing suits so much is they just look smarter and nicer than turning up in hoodies everywhere, makes me feel like I made an effort to be a human being
4. Men are objectified too! Look at guys in films, they’re unrealistically charming and handsome!
Ok, I’ll admit unrealistic standards of beauty exist for both genders in age of star power and photoshopping but the difference is that men are idealised in media, not objectified. If you look at the attention drawn to women in media like magazines and games, it’s about their appearance, their figure, their cuteness or sexual sensuality and if they’re smart or strong then it’s usually pitched as some sort of shocker like “Emma Watson isn’t just a pretty face, she talks too, about stuff, hot!”. Men, whilst depicted as handsome in many films, they are idealised as courageous, clever, thoughtful, strong – traits that are aspirational standards much loftier than a certain bust size or hair style. Looking at the success of men and women in the workplace, women are much more likely to attribute success to their support network and luck whereas men are more inclined to self-promote or say their success was a result of their own hard work. Men, as a general standard, are the ideal – the best thing to be is a rich white straight guy, that is a patriarchy, true equality would be if you got to ask God before you were born
“What’s the best way to start life? Boy or girl? Gay or straight? Mexican or European?”
“Whatever dude, just go out there and make something of yourself!”
Aside from a surfer dude God, that sounds great right? However, as it is, if you got to ask what you would be born as to ensure your success in life, you’re best of going for a straight white guy from the West
5. Ugh, you’re such a smart arse. Ok, explain this then – why are women allowed to not like certain types of men and not be called shallow but if a guy says he doesn’t like fat/thin/tall/short girls then he’s a jerk?
Good question, it is a bit unfair and some of our standards are still drawn from the media when we choose partners, the whole taller guy and shorter girl for example, hard to list ten films in which the female lead is tall or tubby or the male romantic hero is four foot tall. However, this is one that is a big problem we all need to get over but maybe it’s just people don’t find certain factors attractive and that’s nothing to be ashamed of, though it’s nothing to parade about either. I find women are generally a softer touch with saying why a guy isn’t their type as opposed to the “No fat chicks” slogan of many old men’s shirts. You find some things attractive, some things you don’t, but maybe everyone should look around that at what matters more and maybe we should accept the reality we won’t be attractive to every person we meet or we would all get on so much better. Could you imagine a world like that? Jeez, everyone finds everyone attractive, not sure if that’d be awesome or awkward… or you know, one massive long orgy across the planet
6. Hey… you didn’t shout me down or avoid the subject… you’re not all bad. I didn’t realise men could be feminists…
Of course, feminism is often mistaken for some sort of raging hate group commanded by a council of evil lesbians hellbent on castrating every man alive but the truth is a feminist is anyone who believes your genitals don’t determine your worth in society. Men’s Rights Activism is the hate group here, they don’t represent men very well beyond a bunch of whiney white guys wanting their female friends to sleep with them already and stop complaining so much when the men who need representation are overlooked (Gay men as an effeminate stereotype/ black men being judged as poor fathers despite that making no sense/ the male kind being misunderstood as the majority of them being horny arrogant sods/ trans* men being seen as ‘fakers’ or men being forced into masculinity stereotypes against their will). If you think we all deserve a fair chance, you’re a feminist, there you go. Men can be feminists because men are capable of realising the flaws in our society and wanting them to be worked on so as not to see their female friends and family members lose out just because they have boobs
I hope this clears up a few things about feminism as a cause, it’s misunderstood by many of us, even myself once upon a time. Feminism sounds like it’s all about women because of the ‘fem’ but considering women have had laundry and dishes to do for centuries on end, only to be repaid with degrading butt slaps and cat calls, I think it’s fair to put a hand up and say “Uh hey, we’re not 100% cool with that, can we maybe not assume every girl likes to be manhandled and we’ll let you know if we do want a spanking? Thanks”. I’d certainly say so anyway. So get the word out, the Feminazis are actually Feminiceys… just don’t put it like that