No, the title isn’t a confession to being a secret male stripper – I lack both body oil, and a stripper worthy body. I’m here to get up on a high horse again so that I can point at some of you and say “Shame on you!” but first I must make two warnings so that certain readers know whether or not to read on (Pahaha, if you’ve read this far, that’s something, some people can’t even be bothered to click the link)
– This post is about sex. The immature and young teen reader base should go do something more suited to them, like colouring.
– This post is a “equality for women” rant… Yes I know I’m a man… No, I’m not hiding anything… So what if I look great in heels? Erhem… So yeah, if you’re a pig-headed male, you’re gonna want to turn around too
That said, let’s move on to the matter at hand shall we?
Sex, ladies and gentleman, is something a lot of us partake in and a lot of us do for reasons other than procreation. Science has discovered that pretty much any animal can enjoy sexual intercourse and some animals, namely the dolphin and breeds of primate, have sex simply for recreational purposes when not in season. Apart from the need to survive, we have evolved to enjoy sex so that we keep doing it, in the same way that politicians have evolved to be ignorant of the world around them so they don’t die of guilt. In ancient religions it was believed the pleasure of sex was the gateway to ecstasy and then along came organised religions like Christianity who said that sort of behaviour was shameful, that sex should be between married partners and shouldn’t be a fun experience but a way of making babies and that’s it. Now, judging by the fact I’ve never bedded a woman and seen her whispering to herself “Think of England…”, I feel safe in saying my generation is a bit more open sexually. No more marriage first, no more picturing cliffs and fields during the act and people aren’t afraid to admit to their kinks to partners. Obviously, I’m generalising here, this applies mostly to the Western world and even then I’ve met girls who won’t put out without a ring on the finger. Curses. On the whole though, I think we can agree in the Western world at least more people are having sex for pleasure, to either bond with their loved one, to enjoy a physical element to a friendship or simply because they like the buzz. However, this still leaves a few loose ends.
The society we live in is one that is sort of struggling in a feud between old fashioned values and liberal thinking. I take the side with the liberals, I think the system is much more fair.
“You’re killing an unborn baby, it’s wrong, you have to keep that little ball of cells until it becomes a baby and then raise it as punishment for your boyfriend not wearing a condom!”
“Well it’s not your body, your baby and who said he was my boyfriend?”
Some of these standards act as laws in some places and they limit the rights of certain demographics (Though, shocker, never the rights of a heterosexual white male) but some of these standards are just implied, the values of the ordinary human being programmed into them by being raised on Christian values and so even the not particularly religious amongst us can maintain these ideals and that brings me onto my topic for discussion today – sluts.
The word “slut” is thrown around quite casually these days and seems to be an umbrella term for “A woman who is unashamed of having sexual feelings and acts on them like she would any other emotion but for some reason we have to hate her for doing that”. Firstly, there is this double standard – a lot of sex for a woman is bad, a lot of sex for a man is proof he deserves to be called a man. I mean I know there is the whole thing with the “loosening” that I won’t go into and a man doesn’t exactly experience something like that the more often he has sex but really it doesn’t make sense any more. Some men value chastity in a partner, sure, but in a modern society chastity isn’t the number one thing any more. Men often just feel inadequate when they meet a woman who has had others before her because she has a yardstick to measure him by, whereas virgins don’t, and there’s the Christian values we have coded into us that tell us for some reason an untouched vagina is a sacred artifact but a vagina that has had a penis in it before has suddenly gone from cathedral to caff, as if men think of vaginas like used cars. Three previous owners? Heck no, it’ll be full of pubic hair and Doritos and nasty stuff. I don’t understand why we still feel we have to make people feel ashamed of being openly sexual, I like to think someone is shouting “You whore!” out their bedroom window and then turns around to look at their partner who is chained and gagged then grins to themselves oblivious to their double standard. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business who sleeps with who (provided it’s consensual, I shouldn’t have to say that bit but I know some thick cunt will chime in saying I’m condoning paedophilia) so I want to take a moment to tear up some misconceptions about sluts and the term itself.
1. Sluts don’t care – I’ve met a few women in my time who admit to being promiscuous and having the odd night where the bloke in their bed is “That guy from last night”, as opposed to “Jeff, my boyfriend of six months!” and I honestly wouldn’t be able to tell they did what they did if they didn’t tell me, because they’re such lovely and considerate people. I mean, they’re just sexually active women, not vampires. Plus, they can commit and when they do, they’re loyal… their partner may feel a bit like a juiced grape however. I kid I kid.
2. Sluts dress provocatively to entice men into it – Why do people assume people dress for others? I don’t wake up in a morning and say “I’ll wear my red jumper because my Dad likes it”, I dress in clothes because I don’t want my tackle getting chilly. The same applies to women, they don’t dress to invite men into their bed without bothering with a conversation, they dress in what they like to wear. If you see a woman dressed provocatively, it’s not her saying “I want every single penis in a ten foot radius erect and ready for inspection”, she is just enjoying her own body and the clothes empower her. I’m sure every person has one outfit they put on, look at in the mirror and then think “This is fucking sexy! I love wearing it!”. Yeah, same for everyone, be it a suit or a corset.
3. Slut means a woman who takes pictures of herself naked for other people – Well that’s Chatroulette officially declared the home of the man slut then, and Snapchat for that matter. Gah, enough penis in those places to make a gay man’s eyes water. That aside, who else would you take naked pictures for, assuming you did? I’d struggle to get excited over seeing myself naked. The pictures aren’t handed out like coupons though anyway, they are for those they trust and even if they do give them out a lot, so what? Why is it so shameful to tell someone “Hey, don’t forget – I have a body under these clothes and I quite like how it looks, want to see?”. I mean, assuming they do want to see, so what? And if not, delete the picture. Provided it’s all above water, we’re only ashamed of being naked because we either worry about being judged or because we were told our naked body is something to be ashamed of. It isn’t, it just isn’t – though for the record, do keep your clothes on around people who aren’t asking to see them off…
4. Slut means a woman with too many partners – I’m sorry, there’s a set quota? What’s the magic number for a woman? Three dicks and boo, you whore? Does it apply to men too? Am I past my quota, am I a man slut now? Well what about relationships, how many of those are you allowed, call it five strikes and if not married by then die alone? I bet that last bit sounded stupid but so does too many partners. Sleep with as many people as you like, might as well. Why is sex something we feel the need to limit how often we’re allowed it in a lifetime yet nothing else? People who say this sort of thing are usually just jealous – jealous they can’t have sex so frequently or jealous of the previous partners for getting in there first. Get over it, people have sex. Big whoop.
5. Slut means a woman who cheats on her partner – No, that’s a cheat. If you have a partner and you betray their trust by sleeping around behind their back, that’s not being promiscuous, that’s being deceptive. The hurtful bit is the betrayal, not the sex. You don’t hear the man cry “I’m the only penis that should be inserted into you”, what hurts him is that he was betrayed by someone he loved, they did something that he considered exclusive to the relationship with someone else. A slut doesn’t mean a cheat, a cheat is a cheat
6. Sluts are easy – Well perhaps some are more interested in the sex than the chatter and the flirting but that’s vested interest, however the point stands that the sex is on their terms. Much in the same way you don’t suddenly find yourself playing football just because you’re stood in the garden, or painting walls because you’re stood in an empty room, women don’t just suddenly find they’ve sprung onto a dick and started bouncing on it without noticing. A slut is capable of turning down a guy and when she goes for someone, it’s on her terms.
Well, this rant was a long one (snigger), quite a heavy load for you (smirk) but it was a long time coming (giggle). I wanted to get this out there and have my say on the matter because I think it’s a silly thing to berate people for. Oh you have sex too often! Oh I’m sorry what, I enjoy vigorous physical exercise with attractive people to release a natural pleasure drug TOO OFTEN? That’s a thing? Well damn, excuse me for having fun. If you’ve read this far, you’re terrific and I hope this clears things up for some of you. Don’t shame the sluts, they’re just people not ashamed to be what they are – sexy