Allow me to be frank, by which I mean honest and not a request for a change of identity. I dropped the ball so hard here that it landed on my toes and crushed my foot entirely before rolling away and knocking a door down on its way out. You’re all expecting, or sick of waiting for and losing interest in, a video rant and the third instalment in the TDWC series, which I promised to deliver on each Saturday and now that it’s Monday, that promise doesn’t stand for much any more. I hate breaking promises, I feel like it’s a stain on my honour and when you aim to live for honour, you can’t be the one undermining yourself. Essentially, I built myself a nice little bridge, stood on it then told the guy at the other end to push down the trigger to blow it up. Clever boy aren’t I?
So then, you ask, does this blog have a future at all or are you here to tell us the sad saga of your creative suicide? I’m glad you asked. I’m not dead, for the record, but I am kind of on my last legs creatively. Having said that, I never understood the phrase ‘on my last legs’ – You are born with two and you only ever get two, you don’t grow new ones if you lose them unless you recently regenerated. Old Man Wolfe is feeling especially old lately so excuse me for a lack of creativity. TDWC Episode 3 is set to be a real corker, plot-wise, but each draft fails to deliver that awe-inspiring bad-assery you are all waiting for so I get in a huff and leave it. Ironically, I write my best works when I feel positive because then the rants come across as humorous gut punches, not horrific incidents of pulling out a verbal machine gun and inadvertently telling people to commit seppuku because I feel a little tetchy. In honesty, my rants are exaggerated versions of my actual point of view. I think wearing trousers lower than you should looks ridiculous but I don’t actually want anyone who does it to be viciously raped. However, should I get too wound up, I can’t show restraint and so what once was a funny scenario becomes something psychotic so until I feel a little less edgy, I’m better off not trying.
My head feels full of stuff but none of it useful, just crowded space, so I suppose a better image to work with is that it feels like the space left up there for me to use is shrinking. Yes, my brain is shrinking, laugh it up. Done? I need to feel I have full control over myself and my inner workings in order to deliver on my promises of bigger, better things. At the moment, I am at war with myself between trying to remain calm and take on life step and step, and losing myself to a crazed outburst and taking on life by calling it my bitch, pinning it to the floor and biting it in the face. I know some say you take life by the balls and squeeze til you get your way but if you’re more inclined to crushing said balls like grapes, you’ve burst that bartering chip and now life just hates you. I owe you all an apology because this means that once again my personal life and the mess therein is robbing my audience of what it demands – crazy old men and sword-swinging comedies. However, in terms of priorities, keeping sane kinda beats blogging… so I’m told.
Don’t lose heart people, and don’t you dare click ‘Unfollow’ and decide I’m past it for good. No sir, I won’t let that happen. I love to write, it is my passion and I hope to one day get paid for this kinda shit… Well, not this post specifically, the rants and the stories I mean. Once I get past the mess that I’m in, you will see me as I try to reclaim my true self and therein rekindle the flames of creativity inside me. You have to be patient, of course, but when I keep someone waiting, I make up for it in the finale. Expect to see more of TDWC eventually and some more rants on more varied topics. I plan to expand into films, television and gaming related rants soon, including some die-hard fanboyism rants about things that I’m into and how I hate people fucking with a solid franchise (Not pointing aqny fingers or anything Ninja Theory… Sega… Moffat… erhem, no, of course not) You can expect this blog to grow into a grand tree of ranting comedy one day but you gotta let the seeds grow and shouting at it won’t change anything, though technically only one person has been getting on at me to hurry up so I’m not too worried.
I guess I’m also disheartened that my absence has only been addressed to me by one die-hard fan who constantly urges me to hurry up and is forever offering suggestions. Kinda endearing on her part but it goes to show that I don’t really have many fans or if I do, they’re so passive that even Gandhi would get irritated in an argument with them. A blessing and a curse in that I’m not receiving too much complaint about not posting anything in a while but you know, some complaining would be nice? I’m not missed it seems, except by said fan. Hopefully, I’ll win you all back with some new material soon enough so I’ll keep you posted on any progress eh? Thanks, that’s all for now