Coming Soon!

Hello there peoples of the internet, hope I’m not interrupting your search for sloth memes and dead baby jokes. Well, the whiteboard arrived at last so I’m going to see about getting started on animating a video rant pretty soon. I hope you’re excited… or even interested… slightly curious? In any case, don’t expect the world of me because although it will be hand-drawn stop motion animation, it won’t be a seamless ‘Draw My Life’ gig for two major reasons:

1. The style of my rants is aggressive and rough-edged so to match that up to beautiful illustration with loving detail and aesthetic rhythm would look too bizzare – much in the same way you wouldn’t tie a red ribbon around your penis before your honeymoon.

2. To draw in that style would imply I can. I can draw, certainly, but it’s a hell of a lot of effort to draw true works of art every time I want to rant and I’m not up for it.

So, what can you expect from me? I’m not going to be treating your eyes to such visual splendour your tear ducts will release jizz but rather, a quirky little stop motion that will draw from the style model of the infamous Zero Punctuation. Yahtzee, writer, animator and narrator of the series, uses basic animation alongside sophisticated and verbose rants to deliver his point of view without distraction or hesitation, and I often find myself inspired by his works so I’m going to emulate his style to some degree. Plagiarism, I hear you cry, but by emulate I don’t mean rip off but rather, take inspiration from. I will be using basic animation but it will distinctly be my own work you see on your screen, not some total tool trying too hard to be someone else.

The video rant will be available on my blog but I will also see about setting up a YouTube account exclusively for my rants, as I aim to animate more and more of them. If you are interested in animating some of my work yourself, go for it but do give me some credit for the written work and send me a link won’t you? I don’t expect to hit Game Grumps success on that front and be bombarded with countless fan creations but it’d be nice to see someone try it.

Now then, the video rant I will animate first is tricky to decide so it’s up to you, my lovely lovely audience to decide. That’s right, you’re going to be working on this too. You didn’t honestly expect me to be your monkey butler and serve you my soul on a silver platter without a tip did you? Foolish human, you must help me decide what I am to do. Is there a particular favourite you want to see brought to life as a cartoon? A topic of interest you’d love to see me beat to death with a club? I could bundle together some little things that piss me off and make a video about that? Please, I ask that you leave your opinions below, it won’t take long honestly. You can write a comment can’t you? The floor is open to suggestions and I promise this isn’t a trap so that I can call you out as a useless twerp and then cyber-bully you into non-existence. If you’ve got something to say, I will listen.

Hopefully, video rants will be the future for Old Man Wolfe and if they take off then I may consider buying some serious software and improving the quality but I’m not going to fork out at this stage to find my videos are not of any interest to the world. Do not expect crisp clean audio and perfectly drawn creations, but I promise to deliver good content and implement some aspects of visual humour to get an extra giggle out of you. For now then, I’ve got to learn how to animate properly and think of what to make my YouTube début about and as I said, suggestions are encouraged. Thanks for reading, keep watching this page. Current view figures are 1341 total views!

PS – If you haven’t seen Zero Punctuation, look it up.