Keeping Up With The Downers

Personal post again, so by all means if you are purely here to laugh at me tackling modern society with all the grace of a shit covered brick, then you’re probably better off re-reading my older posts because this is purely a personal update on my life. I’ll start from where I left off last time and that is that after toying with the idea of possible depression, I saw my GP who suggested I think carefully if medication is really what I want and if not, see how I can adjust my lifestyle to iron out the kinks in my mood. The man made a fair point, that my particular case has a root cause that, whilst it obviously can’t be undone or removed, I can work my way around the challenges life is presenting to me and rather than take medication directly for my mood, maybe a handful of little remedies for the symptoms will work and I’ll naturally feel better knowing I’ve put my life back on track.

In all fairness, I’m not sure what to think here. I was told to go away and consider if my life is going to improve in the next six months or not, and if taking mood medication is really what I want. I’ve read the information over a few times and admittedly, SSRIs don’t look like the fun kind of drugs kids get into at parties. I’m not keen on the idea of being prone to awkward erections and suicidal tendencies, as I’m not prone to those things at the moment and my life is awkward enough as is, so adding a primed rocket in the trouser department won’t help. However, I also don’t like having a mood as stable as a house of cards built atop a turntable. I will overcome it all though, as I always do because brute force and ignorance always work out in the end… Heheheh… Ok, so perhaps that isn’t true but still, I always pull through in the end and I like to think I’m one of those sort of guys who shrugs off missing limbs as flesh wounds, but without the ballsy stupidity to blow his arm off to prove said point.

On the other hand (Ba-dum-tish mother fuckers), I’ve managed to avoid exploding at anyone for at least three days now and hope to keep that up for a while so GO FUCK YOURSELF IN THE ASS WITH A RUSTY STEEL… Sorry what? Unfunny jokes aside, I think I did actually tell someone to do something along those lines, but honestly my explosive outbursts have merged into a history of violence I can only recall in small chunks, such as individual scraps with various people who said this, that and the other about myself or my mother usually. For the record, all mood stuff aside, anyone who badmouths anyone’s mother deserves a smack in the jaw because I for one have never understood why mothers are brought into arguments as ammunition for petty verbal blows below the belt. Your mother, and his/her mother, have no involvement in the situation most likely, so leave them be because they can’t say a word in their defence if you mouth off about them whilst they aren’t physically present. Back on track, I’ve been able to safely valve off my anger for the most part but I am still struggling with it at times, as I have been all my life.

I’m sure many of you think that in terms of my temper, I invite it round for tea and a quick fuck in the living room before we go out to dinner together and talk about how much we despise humanity but in actual fact, we don’t always see eye to eye and rants are a safe way of letting him have his way for a bit so he doesn’t wait until the pressure gauge reaches critical and storm up to the roof of a building with a machete and a vial of tiger blood. If you think I’m an angry fuckhead now, you should have seen me about five or six years ago when anger was all I lived and breathed for and I justified my existence by destroying anything that would sit still long enough. I often got myself into trouble for this and by living my life as a burning ball of anger, I burnt bridges between myself and numerous people, permanently in some cases. If you’re one of those people reading this, hope you’re doing well.

I’ll overcome all of this in the end and let you all know how things turn out for me, as to whether or not I take the plunge into anti-depressants. If you have any sensible thoughts on the matter, feel free to leave a comment below. Thank you

POST SCRIPT!

I’m here to promote some of my fellow bloggers, who are inspirations to me and are worth a read. Follow my girlfriend Alice in her battles with ME/CFS here, a crippling illness that she comes to term with little by little everyday and she is an inspiration to those of the same condition or anyone feeling lost in this big world

http://meandmybattles.blogspot.co.uk

Also, an old friend of mine who is good for a laugh and possibly one of the most erratic eccentrics in the history of creation, with a brain so randomised you’d think she was assembled by an armada of drunken badgers on their lunch break. A mixture of funny posts and some poetic beauty in there too. Check them out!

http://honeybeelilico.wordpress.com

If you want me to promote your blog, get in touch and I’ll see what I can do but nothing comes free in this world and I won’t promote a blog I don’t enjoy reading. Ok, thanks for reading!