Popularity is perhaps one of the most vague and arbitrary concepts man has ever devised since normality itself and to say that I am a symbol of either of these concepts is to admit total ignorance, or to be entirely sarcastic. By the standard definitions of said terms, I am as popular as a bullet to the brain and as normal as slow-roasting your own underwear. I accept this as a fact of my life and one that will remain so for the rest of my life unless I suddenly become a new man and go about righting every wrong, or decide to move to Mexico to pursue a new life as Enrique Sanchez, the greatest wrestler to have never existed. I don’t mind the fact that people dislike me or even hate me because I know this is true of all people and that no matter what else happens, there will always be someone who loves me and someone who loves the idea of me being strung to the ceiling by my own intestines.
I live in a very small town called Shrewsbury and the biggest problem with small towns isn’t the lack of entertainment venues or available jobs but rather the small town mindset of the people who live in these small towns. A small town is a dull town so you look for your entertainment in other people, by means of either befriending them and spending time around them, or sniffing around for rumours and reasons to start trouble in the hope that chaos breaks out and you can manipulate the situation to your advantage. I feel a huge flaw in the logic here is the people who choose the latter only get as far as making everyone miserable and proving that they’re total arseholes in Shrewsbury; big fish in small ponds so to speak. I also have the problem that when things get personal, I become something of an idiot and lash out at anything that stands still long enough to receive the brunt of my anger, metaphorically beating friends and family into mulch. I’m an angry man by nature and some say I look for excuses to be so angry but when your entire life is full of reasons (Reasons, not excuses – There is a considerable difference here) then it all blurs into one messy pile of foul shit.
Life is a bizarre thing indeed and as I’ve frequently advised you all, don’t try to make it make sense for you or that is what will drive you insane because life is not going to make sense beyond a certain point. Your life might have made more sense when skies were blue, juice was orange and your biggest concern was which game you should play next – Streets of Rage or Ecco the Dolphin – but I’m afraid if you’re reading this then that part of your life has ended and all you can do about it is take away the best of it to enjoy in moments of sentimental nostalgia. I first realised that the world was going to get weird when I found myself worrying about how other people felt because from then on I’d have things to be responsible for and that would include the life of another person. I could play Transformers all day long as a kid and have half my imaginary world up in flames during the made up battles but I knew in my heart that I couldn’t do that to the real world of someone who needed me. You’re looking confused now – the old man’s rants are trying to teach you something
“Oh I see your game old man, very clever indeed. You caught me procrastinating from something important so now you want to give me a life lesson in being a responsible adult do you? I don’t have to stand for this; I have a date with Keyboard Cat!”
Well that’s another yes and no situation because yes I want you to learn from this but no, I’m procrastinating too, blogging being a form of escapism for a man such as myself as well as a means to whip out my hefty long opinion stick to beat people with. I’m trying to tell you that your life is going to be full of people, both good and bad, and you’re going to have to interact with them unless you become a hermit in the wild outback of rural New Zealand or something, or die, dying is a good way to avoid all human interaction but I’d highly recommend you leave that path of life (pun intended) alone for a good sixty years or so if possible. You might live in a small town or village like me and be greeted by the same stock characters every day but then you are a stock character in their life and ultimately all human existence is nothing but the blink of an eye to the universe so fuck it. Yes, be true to yourself above all others but don’t think that means other people don’t count, or by contrast, all others count for so much more than you because the central figure in your world is you. Without you, your world does not exist but without other people, your world is a boring and lifeless pimple on the face of the planet so look around and reach out eh?
I don’t hate everyone I meet, or the majority for that matter or I’d be worried that I’m walking around the wrong part of the world but I do worry about it. We are all flawed beings and all of us take what’s good in life for granted so that we can look to get more out of it through greed but that’s just led us to this cultural dead-end of ‘Buy this, update that, wear this, live here’ and so on. I am struggling to wrap this up decisively, such is life but all in all, just go with what feels right and what you know is right for yourself and the world. I’m irritable, so are you at times, and right now my world is a scary place but I’m determined to conquer it all over again and reclaim my rightful title as lord and master of my own destiny. What are you doing about it?